Do you have a boyfriend?
Are you planning to settle down soon?
When will you get married?
These are questions that I get asked by people a couple of times – the answer was always the same: maybe someday.
In a society where women who on their late 20s are expected to have a significant other, it is often hard to explain why I don’t have one yet. People would often tell me that I’m being too picky and that I should lower my standards so that I can finally be with someone.
My response to that would always be a one big FUCK YOU.
I’m not the prettiest girl in the world, I’ll admit that I’m not the smartet either. But, that doesn’t mean I should just take whoever comes my way. I refuse to settle for just anyone.
I will fucking not.
Relationships, to me, are precious. Whether they are romantic, platonic, or familial relationships, I value them all the same. I keep my relationships small and close because of that reason. I value relationships too much for me to settle into the next best thing – I deserve the best.
I know my worth. I may not be perfect, but I know how much I am worth. I’ve been with men – or should I say boys – who never appreciated me and who I was, but that’s fine, because I know, someday, someone will come, and I’ll know right away – he is the one for me.
You can call me a crazy, hopeless romantic – i don’t really care. Boys have broken my heart a lot of times, but I’m not losing hope. I believe there is someone out there for me. A MAN who will come and chase all my worries away. A MAN who acts like one and not just say he is one.
I refuse to be pressured with the thought of marriage, even though, it is one of the things I want most in life. I always wanted to get married and have a complete family. The voices around me says that it will be hard finding a guy who would marry me because I am a single parent. If that’s the case, if this guy can’t accept my situation, then for sure, he isn’t the one for me. Plain and simple.
I have been freely giving away love, with the hope that someday, it would be freely given back to me too. Everyday, I am still going to wait, even if it takes me forever. I’d rather wait for the right one, than risk myself with the wrong one.
To the man who will love me and that I will love, know that I refused, and would still refuse, to choose anyone else but you. Know that before meeting you, my heart already knows who you are. I’ll be waiting until you finally find your way to me.